"Bigger and better. Different. Quirky. Fun. Awesome location somewhere tropical. Wait a minute tropical or city wedding? Themed? Whose was classiest? Who wore what dress and what car did the bride arrive in? Was there a free bar? What was the band like? What, no band? Who DJ'd for them? Number of bridesmaids. Oh, did you see what the brides mother was wearing? That colour didn't suit her at all! Gossip, gossip, gossip. Blah, blah, blah." - I've heard it all at weddings and during the weeks leading up to it too and from the unlikeliest of culprits too, no one's safe from a little wedding envy!
There's a word for all of the above you know? In a perfect world it'd be fantastic if your special day wasn't judged by your nearest and dearest but it seems wedding envy is rife especially in today's market when we are trying to keep up with Americas big lavish wedding affairs and well, keeping up with status too. Its human nature to compare and contrast weddings you have been to. Blimey! I do it all of the time, I've done it in these blog posts, as I wonder to myself 'Well I had more fun at that wedding but that wedding's food was delicious'. It's like all things....you go to an amazing birthday party as a child and when your next birthday comes along you're chasing for the same bouncy castle, or the same clown. But with weddings you can't have another one a year on (well you could......... ;) )
Taking a step back and being an outsider looking in (if you haven't already guessed by now, I'm not married) a bride is happier and less stressed when she hasn't got all those expectations on her shoulders mainly because her friends and family haven't voiced them or gone out of their way to have for want of a better word - a good old bitch. I know of a friend who got married who was terrified of flying but her hen do was abroad all because a few of her other friends had been away for their hen weekends. So instead of having her hen party in this country she worried for weeks on end about getting on the plane that she didn't enjoy the time leading up to her wedding at all. Why suffer to keep others happy if that just isn't you? My idea of a perfect hen party is a good old fashioned night in the pub because that suits me and my personality but that would never appeal a lot of brides because guess what....? They have different tastes and ideas of a good night out to my own.
For couples who are already married and I know this from listening to friends, attending a wedding in the year of their own or even the following year is daunting because their wedding is being compared and contrasted!
So here's my top tip for future brides and brides of wedding past too - do what you want to do because it's your day, no one else's. They've had their turn or they'll have theirs but the only person who is going to regret not having that black dress instead of the traditional white, or arriving on a motorcycle or even on horseback - is you! Not them. Who cares what they think? And a top tip for friends or family of the Bride and Groom - it's great to have a constructive opinion but it's just that; an opinion. Keep it buttoned if it's going hurt the bride or groom. Just be supportive and you can't go far wrong.